25 Marriage Tips - To Love Honor and Vacuum

credit: myexpression.com

I subscribe to a wonderful blog called To Love Honor and Vacuum written by syndicated columnist, author and speaker Sheila Wray Gregoire. She offers great advice on marriage, sex and parenting. I especially enjoy "Wifey Wednesdays".
Today her article is 25 Marriage Tips.  It's a quick read and I enjoyed it, so thought I'd share. 

Me vs. Claire Huxtable and Super Blogger Moms

I am filing a petition in the very near future against Claire Huxtable. She has defrauded the public into believing that being a wife and mother is the easiest job on Earth and because it’s so easy, she became a full-time lawyer. I am thinking of adding June Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver),Elyse Keaton (Family Ties), Carol Brady(The Brady Bunch), Annie Camden(Seventh Heaven), Caroline Ingalls(Little House on Prairie) and that mom from “Eight is Enough”. 

I’m also adding those Super Blogger Moms to the suit. You know who I mean…..Those bloggers who craft, bake, remodel, and are”Happy wife to Tim (my hero) and mother of three darling angels and a dog.” They’re the worst of the lot. By 8am they’ve already fixed dinner, baked a cake, refinished the dining room chairs and are primed and ready for a hot passionate lovemaking session after she puts the kids to sleep. Then they blog, tweet and facebook it so they can hear, “You’re amazing!! Tell me your secret! Oh…I can never be as super as you!” Now, I’m not saying that they are lying, but what else is going on in their Land of Perfect huh? HUH???
Why don’t you tell us about how your 10 yr. old Jack made you cry? Or how your laundry has piled up and your kids have no clean underwear? You bought KFC and Wendy’s two nights in a row, didn’t you? What about that husband Tim? Is he really that”Knight in Shining Armour” or does he work too much, drink too much, or play too many hours of video games?

Yes, I am jealous. I have tried to be that blogger wife, but the truth is...my life is sooo much more. And I get it, they just don’t choose to discuss the hard times. I understand. But why can’t I see a post that says ” Yesterday Sucked, Today Sucked, and Tomorrow will Probably Suck Too” or “I Hate my Kids Soooo Much Right Now!!” or “10 Ways My Husband Annoys the Hell out of Me!”? Now THAT’s real!

Seriously though, I’d like to see “Not in a Good Mood Today”. I don’t need details, but let me know you’re human. Without divulging much, tell me that you hurt sometimes, cry sometimes, get angry sometimes and are wrong sometimes. Then I wouldn’t hate as much.

I don’t really hate them. I’m actually one of those that can sit for hours and read every post they ever posted. I admire them. I subscribe to them! And I secretly want to be them. But you know what, I’m NOT them. I’m me. And while my family may not be perfect, they aren’t horrible either. We have great times and there are times that are challenging for us. And truthfully, we are going through one of those times right now.

I started this blog wanting it to be a Super Mom Blog. But I’m not a Super Mom. I think that’s why the posts have been so few and far between. I relate more to moms like Lois Wilkerson (Malcolm in the Middle), Debra Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond) and Rochelle (Everybody Hates Chris). At times, they have issues, scream, yell, cry, and are miserable but no doubt, they LOVE their family unconditionally.

Happiness.......

Damon-ism #6 - William Shakespeare

"That Shakespeare guy is the worst writer ever!  All he writes about is death, death, death!  Michael Jackson is a better writer than him."

Atychiphobia

When I had papers to write in college, I waited until the last couple of hours to write them. Sometimes I wouldn't start writing until TWO hours before it was due. Yes, I'm that bad. I do admit that I got a major adrenaline rush from it. But that's not healthy!(daughters in high school and college please note).  You may say "All college kids are like that...Big Deal!"  I was thirty.  Old and gray enough to know better.
But it doesn't end there.  I love everything DIY.  I read all the blogs and look at how I can do those same things at home.  I have brainstormed on hundreds of ideas and projects both professionally and personally.  I would for many hours research and research and research and ......stay in the research mode.  I would never move on to the next step and actually do it.
Just ask my husband, he'll tell you. Things always seem to just fall by the wayside (I think much to his frustration). He has always encouraged me to just do it. He says "I'm holding onto you for a reason. You're gonna make us rich." Maybe. But I have to actually COMPLETE something first.
Why do I get stuck in this rut?  I truly believe that it is psychological.  I even looked it up.  It's called Atychiphobia - fear of failure.
The internet world says that it stems from early life.  There had to have been traumatic events where a major embarrassment was the result of some minor failure. The fear keeps building as the embarrassments and failures add up.
I get it now.   That's me.  I have had so many of those that I guess it did more damage than I thought.  So I put things off until I absolutely have to (which may mean I never do it).
 
So what can I do to get over this crippling fear? Is there a pill, shot or in-office procedure that can help?
No. According to the internet experts it's really something one must get over by one's self. So I have to understand that "There is no failure, only feedback". Hmmmm okay...but feedback can sometimes be pretty harsh.  See, there I go.  They also suggest the following:

1. Take action.  Just do something.  Start small and build up.
2. Persist. Don't give up.  If at first you don't succeed........ 
3. Don’t take failure personally.  Failure is about behaviour, outcomes and results.  It's not a personality characteristic.
4. Do things differently.  If it's not working a particular way, then change the way you do it.
5. Don't be so hard on yourself. Look at failure as an event or happening, not as a person.

So, I am going to make a sincere effort to get over my Atychiphobia (I prefer to say that. I think I can get more sympathy).  

Damon-ism #5

photo credit: thetranquilparent.com

You all tell me "NO" so much, you should start calling me "No-Boy"!

What Lovely Surprises!!

I went to Las Vegas for a few days and when I returned I found this:

Goat Peppers!!!

The Husband LOVES Goat Peppers.  So he was happy to finally have some.  But for me, this is what made me squeal like a schoolgirl!!!:

Eggplant

What's the big deal you ask?  Well I planted these LAST YEAR!  I had given up on them quite a few times (patience is not a strong point with me).  They had finally started to blossom.  But then the blossoms kept falling off.  Still I watered and still I got nothing.  I left home thinking nothing of them.  But I see my lovely tree wanted to surprise me with a welcome home gift!