When I had papers to write in college, I waited until the last couple of hours to write them. Sometimes I wouldn't start writing until TWO hours before it was due. Yes, I'm that bad. I do admit that I got a major adrenaline rush from it. But that's not healthy!(daughters in high school and college please note). You may say "All college kids are like that...Big Deal!" I was thirty. Old and gray enough to know better.
But it doesn't end there. I love everything DIY. I read all the blogs and look at how I can do those same things at home. I have brainstormed on hundreds of ideas and projects both professionally and personally. I would for many hours research and research and research and ......stay in the research mode. I would never move on to the next step and actually do it.
Just ask my husband, he'll tell you. Things always seem to just fall by the wayside (I think much to his frustration). He has always encouraged me to just do it. He says "I'm holding onto you for a reason. You're gonna make us rich." Maybe. But I have to actually COMPLETE something first.
Why do I get stuck in this rut? I truly believe that it is psychological. I even looked it up. It's called Atychiphobia - fear of failure.
The internet world says that it stems from early life. There had to have been traumatic events where a major embarrassment was the result of some minor failure. The fear keeps building as the embarrassments and failures add up.
I get it now. That's me. I have had so many of those that I guess it did more damage than I thought. So I put things off until I absolutely have to (which may mean I never do it).
So what can I do to get over this crippling fear? Is there a pill, shot or in-office procedure that can help?
No. According to the internet experts it's really something one must get over by one's self. So I have to understand that "There is no failure, only feedback". Hmmmm okay...but feedback can sometimes be pretty harsh. See, there I go. They also suggest the following:
- Take action. Just do something. Start small and build up.
- Persist. Don't give up. If at first you don't succeed........
- Don’t take failure personally. Failure is about behaviour, outcomes and results. It's not a personality characteristic.
- Do things differently. If it's not working a particular way, then change the way you do it.
- Don't be so hard on yourself. Look at failure as an event or happening, not as a person.