March 19, 2010

When a Stay at Home Mom Gets in a Slump

Earlier this week I watched an episode of "Intervention" on A&E. It was about the "Perfect PTA Mother" who became a raging alcoholic. She was so bad that she would drink a bottle of mouthwash to stay high. It was pitiful....seeing her crawling into bed, clutching a bottle of mouthwash and curling into the fetal position.
During the interview, she rambles alot, but a few statements struck me and have stuck with me ever since. She said, "I don't want to worry about what's for dinner. I don't want to worry about laundry and cleaning." And I immediately felt her pain.

I can truly understand how she feels. I wish that I can do the same thing sometimes, but I'm not willing to pick up the bottle to do it. Being a stay at home mother can be one of the most rewarding roles a woman can ever have. It can also be one of the most banal, mundane, lifesucking roles to ever exist on this earth.

I'm sure all of us SAHMs have had real, real low points.  I know I have.  I've never been where PTA Mom was though.  I've never had the desire to escape in mouthwash.  But I have had that feeling of  "I'm so tired of  this right now." I have been bored, unhappy and didn't look forward to the next day.
 So what do you do when you feel like this?  What pulls you out of the slump?  What would you say to other SAHMs who are at a low point right now.
 Here are a few suggestions to get you out of that rut:
  1. Know that you are the bedrock of your family.  I take pride in knowing that my husband and children are happier because of what I do for them.  You empower them to face their days.
  2. Find a hobby.  Whether you like crafts, reading, gardening, going to the gym, community service, collecting coins....whatever it is,  make time to do it.  It will be your escape at the end of the day or week.
  3. Start an at home business.  It could be baking or selling your crafts, editting, graphic design or blogging.  
  4. Make time for adult conversation.  Whether you talk on the phone with your best friend or you join a SAHM group that meets regularly.  You can also join a homeschool group.  Join a small group at church or a book club.
  5. Start a morning routine.  Get up early enough to take a shower and change into DECENT clothes.  Get out of those pajamas and robes.  And no, you cannot wear the sweatpants with the holes in the crotch and paint and bleach splatters all over it. Take time for morning devotions or yoga or excercise to get the blood flowing.  Or sit with that cup of coffee or tea before the kids get up and get that little quiet time to yourself.
  6. Lastly, there is always the internet. Read blogs and articles from other SAHM's that may inspire you to get moving. Just knowing that  I am not the only woman out there that made her daughter wear dirty socks to school one day because there is a never ending pile of laundry to do, gives me comfort.
I'm sure there are more tips out there.  I've probably just barely scratched the surface.  Note that these things won't stop the bad days from happening, but hopefully, they will lessen the frequency.

I never got to see the end of that episode. I'm sure she went to re-hab and came back home to be the perfect wife and mother. I also think that six months later she's living on the street turning tricks for a bottle of gin.

Remember, you have chosen a noble and blessed profession. Be proud, I know I'm proud of you.


  1. I think you have some great tips for those who get down in the dumps every now and again. It happens. I love blogging and social media, especially for the reasons you said in #6. :)