May 31, 2012

If You Don't Hear, You Will Feel

There's an old saying here in The Bahamas, "If you don' hear, ya gon feel!" Parents initially say this to an unruly child as a warning that a spanking is coming next if the bad behaviour doesn't stop. Sometimes the kids get it and stop immediately, other times, a spanking follows. (Please this is not a post about spanking. There are many opinions on spanking vs. non-spanking as punishment, this is not a post on that)

As our children grow up, we continue to say this to them. But instead of the warning of spanking, it's a warning of disappointment,  regret and emotional hurt .  We want them to "hear" us when we encourage them to study, or to say no to drugs and alcohol, or to avoid getting involved with the wrong partner. So that they don't "feel" the disappointment of not getting into the college of their choice, or regret that DUI, or the emotional hurt of being in a bad marriage or relationship.

All parents do this. We say it everyday. We just want our kids to listen.  We want them to  avoid pain, disappointment and regret. Sometimes, our kids listen, sometimes they don't. As parents, all we can do is pray that they will make the right choices and be there for them when they don't.

1 comment:

  1. So funny you write about this. Your cousin has said "those who don't hear, must feel" a few times. I wonder if it's less a country-related thing or a Mama thing you both inherited. ;)

    I like how the same saying can mean something else as children grow older. I think I'll keep that in mind, as disappointment is one of those feelings that seems to make a big impact.

    Thanks for sharing!